The Psychology of Loneliness

Imagine this scenario - a friend says they'll call you, but they don't. How does this make you feel? Put out? Like they don't want to talk to you? Will you reach out to them?

Research on the psychology of loneliness suggests that the answer might depend on how lonely you feel.

What is Loneliness?

Loneliness is a feeling of a lack of connection with others and reflects a dissatisfaction in either the quantity or quality of social relationships. Chronic loneliness is recurrent and long-term loneliness, and distinct from more situational, or short-term loneliness.

Loneliness Influences Our Thinking

Research suggests that chronic loneliness can change our thoughts and beliefs about other people and social situations in important ways. For example, people who are chronically lonely are more likely to interpret events in a negative way and view the actions of others as more hostile.

Returning to our scenario in which a friend says they will call and then they don't... people who are lonely will be more likely to view this event in a negative manner. They may be more likely to withdraw from that friend rather than reach out. This withdrawal can result in greater isolation and loneliness.

This psychological pattern of long-term loneliness has been called a downward spiral: Our feelings of loneliness can make us withdraw from family and friends, and this withdrawal, in turn, leads to further loneliness. In this way, the psychology of loneliness alerts us to how people experiencing chronic loneliness can have psychological barriers that prevent reaching out and connecting with other people.

Loneliness and Physical Health Outcomes

Loneliness can negatively impact our quality of life and health. Research shows that loneliness is associated with health problems, such as cardiovascular disease. Loneliness in older adults correlates with lower participation in behaviours and activities that are beneficial to health. Loneliness has also been shown to affect sleep quality, meaning that lonely people experience less restorative sleep, which has consequences for mental and cognitive wellness.

Loneliness and Mental Health

Mental health and loneliness are closely linked. Loneliness affects the feelings one holds about oneself. Chronic loneliness is associated with greater stress, fears around being evaluated negatively, and depression and social anxiety. It has also been associated with reduced feelings of optimism and self-esteem.

How Can We Help Someone Experiencing Loneliness?

Taken together, research on the psychology of loneliness suggests that it will be challenging for someone experiencing chronic loneliness to reach out and connect with other people. People experiencing chronic loneliness will be more likely to perceive social situations as threatening. This means that simply encouraging social connection or joining social groups might 'miss the mark.' Support may be needed to address negative thoughts, mistrust in others, or anxiety. Strategies or campaigns aimed at increasing awareness of the psychological aspects of loneliness and reducing the stigma around talking about loneliness are also important to support people to recognize and potentially address signs of social withdrawal. For some individuals (e.g., people experiencing high intensity or severe loneliness), one-on-one psychological support may be needed.

Everyone's social situation is unique. Although here we have highlighted the psychological aspects of loneliness, it is also important to recognize that addressing psychological barriers is just one part of the solution to decreasing loneliness and isolation. Other barriers can prevent us from connecting to people as much as we would like (e.g., lack of transportation, technologies; health difficulties such as sensory loss; low income). Tailoring support to specific needs and social situations is critical.

Get Connected!

Did you know that in Manitoba you can access system navigators to help you (or a family member/friend) find resources near you? For more information, check out our Manitoba resources page: Get Connected

Signs and Risk Factors of Social Isolation and Loneliness

You can learn more about risk factors and signs of loneliness and social isolation here: Signs and Risk Factors.

For More Information:

This blog was based on the following sources:

Psychology Matters Infographic (by Targeting Isolation):

Psychology Matters_Trust.pdf

Download PDF • 36KB

UK Report from the Campaign to End Loneliness: https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/wp-content/uploads/Psychology_of_Loneliness_FINAL_REPORT.pdf

Hawkley and Cacioppo Report on Loneliness: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3874845/